A woman was feeling unwell, so she went to the doctor. He ran some tests and told her to come back next week.

When she returned, she asked the doctor, "Well... what's wrong with me?"

The doctor said "I'll put it this way... you are going to be having a lot of restless nights and changing a lot of diapers...."

"Oh, you mean I'm pregnant?!"

"No," said the doctor, "I mean you have bowel cancer."